How to Change a Child’s Life

We celebrated Halloween last week, and there are still a few things on my mind. Yes, I am a Christian and minister who celebrates Halloween actively. (Top 5 reasons I celebrate Halloween).  On Tuesday, our Refuge crew stayed up all night decorating the theater. We then held a Trunk-or-Treat for kids on Wednesday. On Thursday, we had a neighborhood hangout with our girls handing out candy in the driveway. On Friday, we all crashed from the sugar high. That’s a nice 90s reference if you missed it. 

Our family had 3 farmers and a little cow. My good friend Ryan Eller’s neighborhood had the coolest Halloween idea I heard. They had a hot dog, chip, and candy pot luck in a driveway and projected Monsters University on the garage. Brilliant.

All week it was all about kids. All about fun.

I believe in loving kids. I think we should esteem them in the highest ways. Many of us heaped candy on them last week. But in regards to children, our most precious resource, here are a few things I have learned that we should really give them.

1. Time – It has been said that you spell love T-I-M-E. This is certainly critical to love, if not completely true. To all my friends reading, especially parents out there. Here is a tip I have learned. You are not as busy as you think. You are not too busy to take time for your children. Here is what I mean by that. The 1 minute rule.

 

When my daughter wants me to watch her twirl as I walk out the door, I have two choices. 1. Say I have to get to work and go 2. Give her literally 1 minute and watch her. Often, if we would give our kids 1 more minute, it would be a world of difference. On a larger note, give time to your kids. Don’t have much. Find it. here are some good places to look for a few more minutes with your kids:

TV, specifically football, basketball, and baseball events for us fathers.

Facebook and Twitter

Working at home – will that 15 minutes really matter? Or get tough and wake up early.

2. Imagination – Growing up my grandparents had 2 large propane tanks in their yard. Those propane tanks made excellent tanks, horses, a fort, and a host of other pretend items for our fun. Give this creativity to children. Don’t worry about the rules of a game. Don’t care what you wil look like. Turn a stick into a sword. Make a block into a treasure. If you did this, you would be a kid’s hero.

3.Compliments – Sadly, I see men struggle to talk to little kids. You want to see a man squirm, put him in a room with a child and ask them to have a conversation. Here is the trick. Just compliment them. Tell a little girl how pretty her hair is. tell a little boy how awesome his backpack looks. When you give a child a compliment you build their self esteem and open a door that allows them to express themselves. When you freely give a child a compliment, you build a safety net for them to share more with you.

Why I hate Daylight Savings Time, and an overlooked fact

Daylight savings time is to parents what the Super Bowl is to the Bills. Maybe a good idea for the rest of the world, but a terrible night for parents of young children.

We have a 3 year old and a 1 year, and we are still suffering the effects of Daylight Savings Time. Our sleep schedules are off and our routine is totally out-of-whack. Sunday was a miserable day. I don’t think I am alone in this suffering. I also think I am not alone in my opinion of DST. I dislike it and wish it did not exist. Why does it exist anyway?

Here is the short version. For a long version, check out timeanddate.com

Benjamin Franklin is largely credited with the first notion of modern DST (to save candle usage) and it gained legitimate ground at the turn of the 20th century. It has been pushed during times of war and the U.S. fuel shortage of the seventies. Now all states except Hawaii and parts of Arizona recognize DST. The major point is saving energy.

And it does save energy. A 2008 Department of Energy report to Congress found that Daylight Savings Time does indeed save energy. According to the report, the total energy savings throughout the period of Daylight Saving Time add up to 17 Trillion Btu of primary energy consumption, which is .02 percent of the country’s total use in 2007.

So, in the end, it may be worth it. If you have ever griped about the price of gas, you probably cannot also grip about Daylight Saving Time.

Crap. I’m out. I suppose I should check my facts. As someone who likes to save money and tries to be an environmentalist of sorts, I like the concept behind DST.

But it still makes for really grumpy children.

And for the record, it is Daylight Saving Time. No “s.” Who knew.

She thinks we’re just fishin’ (parental thoughts from a parent-in-training)

This is my sweet Adelae Joy on our first fishing trip a couple of Saturdays ago. We went to my mom and dad’s land and fished at a pond. It was, as you can imagine, a fantastic experience. I also learned a valuable lesson that has cemented into my being the last few weeks. The value of spontaneity.

Dear fellow parents, please listen. Do not undervalue the spontaneous trip or event, however great or small it may appear.

Here are a few thing to note about our trip.

1. I am not much of a fisherman. My brother, who is much a fisherman, makes fun of me because I am apt to bring a book alongside a fishing trip.

2. Adelae, nor I, have any fishing gear.

3. The trip was not planned in the slightest. Not at all. Not even a little.

Here’s how it went. Saturday morning all the Murrs wake up and eat breakfast. We ask Adelae casually what she wanted to do that day. Mostly for amusement, because 3 year olds can have very creative answers. Boy was she creative!

“Adelae what do you want to do today?” asks Dada

“Go fishing!” she answers with enthusiasm and without hesitation.

So I looked at Mama, we silently agreed. “Let’s go!” So a quick run to K-Mart, (Yes, we still have K-Mart in Muskogee. It is way underrated by the way. Decent options. Way less of a crowd than Wally World) for a Dora fishing pole and off to Wainwright we went. Here is my lesson to us parents. We worry way to much about the plan. I had more than several extremely qualified reasons to not go fishing. But it was so worth it. Typically, I come up with excuses and the promise of “Maybe later” or “another day.”

Sadly another day doesn’t come. We think there is not enough time. There is. We think we are unprepared. You probably are. We think something may not go right. It almost always does. All these things are insignificant to our children. Just be there with them. Make memories for them. They will not remember the time crunch, or lack of fill-in-the-blank. They will remember going, and a mama or daddy who took them.

So let loose, plan less, and do more. Hit the zoo. Go to the park. Fish.

If you are like me and Adelae, grab a sack lunch. We had one bite, caught zero fish, and mostly snacked. That’s my girl!

Weekend with my My Wife

 

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

I am about to go to sleep and I am excited out of my gourd. Tomorrow Jennifer and I are taking an overnight trip. No girls, just us. And we need it. Not in a “our marriage is falling apart” kind of way, but in a “you are still my bet friend and I want to hang out” kind of way.
On that note, my wife is my best friend. I think this is a crucial element of a healthy marriage. More on that later.
The trip is only to OKC for some shopping, fun, and chill out time. But the time together will be so valuable. I have so many friends and hear of so many more whose marriages have been lost that its heartbreaking. Guarding your time as a couple is important. This trip, for us, will help.
It is hard to find time. But we must if we are going to make it as a couple.
We both promised each other about 10 years ago that we would make it as a couple.

So we will make the time. Thanks for going to OKC with me my love!